An Almost Full Moon and an Almost Emergency

And the wisdom of 'Enough'

Ace

The bags were packed, the snacks were prepared. The second week of school had gone down without a hitch, the warm weather had decided to stick around; What more could you ask for heading into the finale of my son's rep soccer season. They had made it to the Championships and tomorrow was the big day. Everything was unfolding perfectly.

Except….Something wasn't quite right.

It was my 67th time looking out the window at the horses for the day, but instead of a quick glance, there was something different that caused my glance to turn into a steady stare. Arms folded, I stood there for several minutes trying to figure out what that something was. It's Ace. Something's not quite right with Ace. There wasn't anything obviously wrong with him, it was much more subtle than that. There was just something off about the way he was acting. The way he was standing there and the way he was eating. The way he lay down, And then got back up again not too long after. 

I went outside to take a closer look. Ace came and stood beside me and put his head against my ear. A sweet moment under normal circumstances, but again, it was the way he did it that confirmed something indeed wasn't quite right. Are you trying to tell me something, Ace? This time, he nudged my arm.. a confirmation that what I felt was more than just a feeling; It was an important message not to be ignored: Ace is colicking. Colic in horses is a painful gastrointestinal condition that can come out of nowhere and rapidly worsen. 

After observing him for over an hour, with his strange behaviours not improving, it was time to spring into action. The sun was almost fully gone. I'd have to run and get my headlamp. The almost full moon, bright against the almost black sky, a source of comfort as I tried my best not to think about the worst. I took a deep breath, pushed back the tears that almost ran down my cheeks and called the after hours emergency vet line.

I took Ace out of the darkness of the paddock and walked him towards the lit path of the driveway. We walked up and down while waiting for the vet to arrive. Up and down, up and down, the clip clop of his hooves against the pavement, a soothing and steadying sound for my nerves, while I prayed that the back and forth swing of his movement would provide some temporary relief for his pain.

The wait was only 15 or 20 minutes, but in such a short time something incredible happened: My fear and worry dissolved. Not completely, but almost, and in its place a calm knowing gently entered. As sure as I knew something was wrong with him, I knew somehow, in the end, he was going to be ok. It was something about the Moon. Even though it wasn't quite full, it was the way that it painted the darkness as if it was. So big. So bright. Such a presence against the curtain of black. Not caring about what it almost was, but being everything that it already was. Full enough. Full enough to be impressive. Full enough to provide some light for us. Full enough to be astoundingly beautiful.

Horse ears in the moonlight

Almost.

Full Enough.  

I didn't know for sure that Ace was unwell, but I knew enough to know something wasn't right.

I didn't know for sure that Ace was going to be okay, But I knew enough - I felt enough - to trust that he would.

I didn't need a guarantee. We can't get a guarantee. Ever. What we need are opportunities to feel deeper and deeper into our own intuition; our own inner knowing, So that we can lean further and further into Trust. 

It is in our ‘almost’ states where this trust can be cultivated. When we are almost there, but not quite. When we sort of know, but not totally. When we've let go, but not completely. When there are signs, but not enough. when we have some answers, but we need more. 

When it just doesn't feel like enough, but maybe, if we are allow ourselves to sit in this place of in between, it can be more than enough. 

There is more to this story, And much more to say about the messages and energies held within tomorrow’s powerful Super Moon and partial lunar eclipse. 

I invite you to come and join me tomorrow as I dive a little deeper before we sit together in meditation.

Live Full Moon meditation tomorrow, September 17th at 10:00 a.m. eastern time. 

Please click on the link to register.

https://lu.ma/4b5m62mr

I hope to see you there!

And don't worry, as per my gut feeling, Ace is as right as rain.

much love,

Carolyn 💞